Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Work without Passion is Just a Job

I've been really tired this week. I get home from work, manage to get some dinner thrown together and collapse on the couch for the rest of the night. I don't like feeling this way. There's just not much left of me in terms of energy at the end of the day. I've referred to my job before in no uncertain times as "soul-sucking". Perhaps, a more apt term would be "life-sucking". Don't get me wrong. There are many more people that have more physically, intellectually, or emotionally demanding jobs. I hope for their sakes that they love what they do. When they come home from a day of work, I hope they feel a sense of pride or accomplishment in a day well spent serving others or doing what needs to be done. I wish I could feel that way too. I've tried. I think it really comes down to passion and doing something that you believe in. I've long since lost any real interest in the work that I do. I've also stopped believing that the work I do has any real significance. That is a big bite to chew for someone who went into a particular field believing that. I may have been naive. Perhaps, all people feel this disillusionment at some point or another. For me it has persisted. I know I need to leave because there are other people who would gladly take my job and attack the work with a real passion. This also hasn't been a fleeting feeling. I've been thinking and feeling this for about three years. It's unfortunate that I've been able to get this far, even finishing a Master's degree, in a career path that I realize is not for me. Since the average person now switches careers about seven times during their working life, perhaps my experience isn't all that unusual. Maybe what is unusual is that I've kept on this long daily slogging through a career that is not just a job to me. Part of my time off from paid work will be dedicated to finding my passions. This is something I wish I could have done before I spent tens of thousands of dollars on my college education. I look forward to some deep soul searching and exploration. My hope is that one day in the not too distant future, I'll come home from a day of work, tired, of course, but also satisfied that I've done my small part to the best of my ability to give back something to this world.

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